Overwhelmed? 3 Ways to Tackle Hard Things

Overwhelmed.

Frustrated.

Uncomfortable.

Freaked out.

Scared.

Ready to cry.

These are the words I heard last week in my conversations with teachers. These words are an honest

evaluation of how we all feel as we start this year. This is not a normal year. This is not business as normal. This year is hard!

Can we do this? Can we make the sacrifices, make the daring choices, that are needed this year? My daughter may have the answer we need.

Addy is my daughter...oops...I mean Addysen (She is 14, not a little kid anymore!). This year she will be entering the 9th grade and she is a really good girl. ("Mom!") Oops...I mean she is a super mature young lady! :)

This year, she was going to join the freshman class at a new school. This girl is super social. I mean SUPER social. When she was little, she would talk to every single neighbor on our walks, try to visit them in their garages and follow them to their doors! Meanwhile, I was trying desperately to remain the anonymous, introverted neighbor from down the block! She didn't care. She wanted to know everyone! Still does.

Addysen was excited about this upcoming year. In her minds eye, she could see a future of new friends and new adventures. She was scared, AND confident. Ready. To. Go.

Then, in July, we were forced to make a choice. We could choose between a traditional track with the possibility of being on campus with others when the county CoVid numbers decrease OR Virtual track with online schooling for at least one semester, possibly the entire year. Like house arrest...with no chance of parole! My husband and I discussed the options with her. We talked endlessly about the what we knew about these two options and the pros and cons of each. Then we left the decision up to her.

She chose Virtual.

SHE chose VIRTUAL!!!

Why? Why would a social kid (ahem..young person) decide to stay at home, to learn virtually for a year? Why would a student who had already felt the exhaustion of virtual learning choose to do that again for an extended period of time? Why would she put herself through all that?

The choice wasn't easy, but the answer is. She loves her Grandma who lives with us and is in the "high risk" category for several reasons. Addysen is well aware of the possibilities if CoVid makes it into our home. She made a hard decision, a personal sacrifice, for the good of others. She chose to go virtual and decrease the chance of infection. She made a hard choice. She chose the difficult road. She decided to take a risk herself rather than risk the health of ones she loves.

Why tell you this? What does this have to do with us starting a new school year? Whether or not you or I agree with her decision is not what we need to learn from her. There is something much bigger. Watching her make this decision, which was very difficult, overwhelming, frustrating, uncomfortable and personal, I relearned something I already knew...but occasionally forget. As humans, we can do hard thing.

Read this sentence slowly.

We. Can. Do. Hard. Things.

We can do hard.

We can do.

We can.

We.

When we are asked to do hard things, as we are this year, it is important to remember the "we" in that sentence.

Addy is missing out of school shopping, on socialization, on learning with others this year. So you can bet that "we" (her family) are working to make sure she still has experiences and connections with others that will help fill the void.

In the same way, "we" (the school family), have to realize we are not alone and help one another. Let's stand together facing this difficult dragon of a year and do this together. Start here.

1. Share what you learn.

Thank you to the brave souls who have already started to send out links and tools they have found helpful! We know it is sometimes a little scary to share ("What if I'm the only one who doesn't know this?!?"). I encourage you to share anyway. If just one other teacher is helped by your effort, it is worth it!

If you are still a little wary of "reply all" kind of messages, then email you team or send the helpful link to someone who might share it for you. The key to this is simple: you find something helpful, share!

2. Support one another.

This year collaboration is not just a great thing. It's not just a way to create Collective Teacher Efficacy (see John Hattie's research). This year, collaboration is a survival skill!

In this new environment, it is essential to find someone, a group, a team of others who are working on the same things and willing to share. Lighten each other's loads. Start a text chain to share ideas. Join twitter and follow some teachers who share all their stuff. Call each other just to check in. Find support for yourself and be a support to others.

3. Find and share joy.

A sense of humor is a great thing to have in difficult times. Please don't lose your sense of fun, your ability to see the funny side of things, and your love of students this year. When I am having a rough day, I find joy by connecting with students...no matter what environment we are in. If you find you have not had fun teaching during a day, make a commitment to change things up tomorrow. Break students into smaller groups and spend quality time connecting with them. Have a couple students share something funny that has happened to them recently each day and laugh together with your students. Our students need to find joy in this new environment too.

The only way we can do hard things...and make them feel less difficult, is to work together.

We can do this.

We can.

Be brave.

Be open.

Be you.

Kim